snap - rame

Okay, so far everybody has loads to say about matric day and uni in general.

I have two words so far.
It sucked.

First, by the freaking time we got upstairs to the fair, we realised that
a) we were just in time to clean up for them
b) we were conned into getting a ten dollar matric pack in which I got a cheena magazine
c) Our bags pooled together broke a total of 6 times. And it didn't even wait till we were outside.
d) It rained..sorry POURED, no actually FLOODED and we were in heels. Un sensible shoes but WTH.
e) we get asked whether we actually will be able to navigate ourselves to where ever we are supposed to go.
f) We were asked about a million times " did you guys plan your outfits together" in one permutation or the other. Trust me, we were just as surprised as you were. *gasp* nooooooooooo!

okay i shouldn't rant anymore. I just read some stuff and I feel bad. Its this odd feeling that I keep feeling apologetic to people for having a normal and happy life. Relatively happy.
I feel bad that I am so ungrateful and small when people my age, have so much problems. People dying, people disappearing, people not having a whole set of parents. life being horrible, moving away, not going where they want to.

I comparativley live a life of ease.

I get along with my mum and dad except a few skirmishes.
They may be strict but I'm pretty much okay with it. Mostly, I think they strike an okay balance. And some may not understand it but I do and I'm fine.
They are happy together.
I actually like my brother and we are surprisingly close. (as disgusting it may be)
I don't get into huge cat fights and I'm happy with my friends (Though, i'm irresponsible)
I've never had to cope with a death of someone so close.
I keep in touch (mostly) with people who move away
I'm doing something I want.
I don't really have to deal with financial trouble

I know, rationally, I shouldn't have to feel guilty about my life. Because, I think I do earn it in some ways. I do believe I accept things and compromise, without dwelling too much on why they may not have worked out, which I guess gives some mode of satisfaction in my life. Acceptance leads to happiness.

Which I think explains, the guilt cutting doubly quick when I'm confronted with pain in any form. I am unable to deal with it any other way.

I am sorry.