There will be a new hierarchial system implemented on earth after much thinking. The two executive planners met weeks earlier but only after MUCH debating were able to agree upon this as the most just form of segregation, here upon earth.
THE NEW ORDER
As ordained by Fatma and Vasudha
GOD
Brad Pitt
Everyone Else
Saturday, August 28
>>Haha<<
IG=Indian Girl
M=mother (hers)
GM= grandmother (hers but rest assured, anything with old crochety people is vastly entertaining)
M: I'm thinking about finding a groom for you
IG: *horrified* Why?
M: You are taking too long than a normal time an Indian girl would take to find a husband. Its disgraceful.
IG: Its only been 6 months since you talked about marriage
GM : *cackling* did you hear that M, only 6 months! In my time, we would have given birth to a child.
IG: it takes 9 months to give birth. stop exaggerating.
M: Don't be rude to your elders. See, this is precisely why you are not getting a husband. Always yakking
GM: Its all these new fangled technology business that takes so long. In my time, Push! and its over.
IG: Its a factual error! You'd be pushing for days! And anyway, my Chinese friends all haven't got husbands and they're okay. Their mothers aren't down their throats.
M: *horrified* how dare you! They're of a different culture.
GM: *wails* This is precisely why I told your husband 30 years ago when he wanted to come to Singapore, nothing doing. Stay in India and be happy. Singapore! my foot. I told him his daughter will turn out to be one of those cabaret dancers you see on TV. Did he listen? No. Nobody ever listens to me anyway. I'm just a dried up old women. No respect anymore. Even my own grandchildren are questioning my pain. 6 months and only I know the pain. If I didn't suffer would you be here to disrespect me like this? Its all this technology that is emboldening them.
M: *gasp* Do you have a technological boyfriend? Is that it? You are determined to bring disrespect to our doorstep. All our reputation gone. Talking back to your grandma and upsetting her like this. What will people think?
GM:*whispers* I have a heart condition you know.
IG : *rolls eyes* Its an E boyfriend and no, I don't have one. And what about all the Chinese friends of mine who married at a so called respectable age?
GM: *mulishly*That's different. They eat meat.
M: *wails* I'll never get you married off!! No e-tech- boyfriend also. Even a boy who hasn't seen you doesn't want you. You will disgrace the good name of this household.
IG=Indian Girl
M=mother (hers)
GM= grandmother (hers but rest assured, anything with old crochety people is vastly entertaining)
M: I'm thinking about finding a groom for you
IG: *horrified* Why?
M: You are taking too long than a normal time an Indian girl would take to find a husband. Its disgraceful.
IG: Its only been 6 months since you talked about marriage
GM : *cackling* did you hear that M, only 6 months! In my time, we would have given birth to a child.
IG: it takes 9 months to give birth. stop exaggerating.
M: Don't be rude to your elders. See, this is precisely why you are not getting a husband. Always yakking
GM: Its all these new fangled technology business that takes so long. In my time, Push! and its over.
IG: Its a factual error! You'd be pushing for days! And anyway, my Chinese friends all haven't got husbands and they're okay. Their mothers aren't down their throats.
M: *horrified* how dare you! They're of a different culture.
GM: *wails* This is precisely why I told your husband 30 years ago when he wanted to come to Singapore, nothing doing. Stay in India and be happy. Singapore! my foot. I told him his daughter will turn out to be one of those cabaret dancers you see on TV. Did he listen? No. Nobody ever listens to me anyway. I'm just a dried up old women. No respect anymore. Even my own grandchildren are questioning my pain. 6 months and only I know the pain. If I didn't suffer would you be here to disrespect me like this? Its all this technology that is emboldening them.
M: *gasp* Do you have a technological boyfriend? Is that it? You are determined to bring disrespect to our doorstep. All our reputation gone. Talking back to your grandma and upsetting her like this. What will people think?
GM:*whispers* I have a heart condition you know.
IG : *rolls eyes* Its an E boyfriend and no, I don't have one. And what about all the Chinese friends of mine who married at a so called respectable age?
GM: *mulishly*That's different. They eat meat.
M: *wails* I'll never get you married off!! No e-tech- boyfriend also. Even a boy who hasn't seen you doesn't want you. You will disgrace the good name of this household.
I just realised I'll be the first one in the Singapore extension of the Srinivasan family to do my A's.
crap
Just realised the folly of watching 13 going on 30, which despite the very misleading trailer, is actually pretty deep as it traces a 13 year old decision 17 years later when well, she is 30. And it is a very scary thought to realise that a decision that you could take would just revolutionalise your future. I t doesn't even have to be a momentous decision, just a small one and boom. we all fall down.
I'm too young!! Then again, who is to judge how old are we to actually feel comfortable enough to take decisions that about which we are basically unaware of the ramifications until later, and sadly, there is not enough wishing dust or time turners in the world today to correct those mis-takes.
(interestingly, mistake is either to mis(s) a take? or mis as a suffix for (misstep) take so you take the wrong take? )
But its a bit like playing Spider Solitaire.. You have the Ctrl+Z option to go back and see what would have happened if you chose another card but sooner or later you have to make a decision.. and really, it is a slippery slope because who knows when you stop? after the next card, you still don't have ALL your options spread out because if you wanted it that way, you have to pursue it completely and that would mean finishing the game.
Psyching with flakes.
oh plus, Mark Ruffalo was so hunky there, all scruffy looking and broad shoulders. :)
this one's for you KY,
the trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it - Franklin P. Jones
crap
Just realised the folly of watching 13 going on 30, which despite the very misleading trailer, is actually pretty deep as it traces a 13 year old decision 17 years later when well, she is 30. And it is a very scary thought to realise that a decision that you could take would just revolutionalise your future. I t doesn't even have to be a momentous decision, just a small one and boom. we all fall down.
I'm too young!! Then again, who is to judge how old are we to actually feel comfortable enough to take decisions that about which we are basically unaware of the ramifications until later, and sadly, there is not enough wishing dust or time turners in the world today to correct those mis-takes.
(interestingly, mistake is either to mis(s) a take? or mis as a suffix for (misstep) take so you take the wrong take? )
But its a bit like playing Spider Solitaire.. You have the Ctrl+Z option to go back and see what would have happened if you chose another card but sooner or later you have to make a decision.. and really, it is a slippery slope because who knows when you stop? after the next card, you still don't have ALL your options spread out because if you wanted it that way, you have to pursue it completely and that would mean finishing the game.
Psyching with flakes.
oh plus, Mark Ruffalo was so hunky there, all scruffy looking and broad shoulders. :)
this one's for you KY,
the trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it - Franklin P. Jones
Thursday, August 26
Tuesday, August 24
Disclaimer: This is written, bearing in mind the least offence to the persons most traumatised.
Next time, Maximillain i-don't-give-a-flying-fish-to-what-your-last-name-is, be careful of where you put your foot. You already insterted it into your mouth once and maybe next time, you'll be careening down the LT1 steps with the smell of everyone's shoes in you nose and the ugly socks IN YOUR FACE as you finally land sprawling on the landing in an inelegant heap, devoid of all sensibilities and buring with shame and emabarrassment as you grapple with the idea of people laughing at you.
Oh! To be the foot that will trip you up.
Oh wait, it will.
*mwahahahaha*
Next time, Maximillain i-don't-give-a-flying-fish-to-what-your-last-name-is, be careful of where you put your foot. You already insterted it into your mouth once and maybe next time, you'll be careening down the LT1 steps with the smell of everyone's shoes in you nose and the ugly socks IN YOUR FACE as you finally land sprawling on the landing in an inelegant heap, devoid of all sensibilities and buring with shame and emabarrassment as you grapple with the idea of people laughing at you.
Oh! To be the foot that will trip you up.
Oh wait, it will.
*mwahahahaha*
ok. i was wrong.horribly wrong. Told Jo that quote You'd reach home by 3 and just finish both essays by 5 and can start studying. How hard is that? end quote
time check:5.50
Essays done : ZERO
Econs done: 0 %
Eternal optimism loses to reality with a tight slap to cheek. Score 100:1
Was surveying some blogs and was particularly amazed at the sophisticated lang used. Felt like a substandard example of an Arts student. The only quote that I can remember till today, off hand, from MAAN is kill claudio. Not exactly the most exemplary example.This attitude was further reinforced becauseI spent 5 min trying to subtract 49 from 63 during econs.
*lkASFlksdjflkasdhgljh;lksdfqwjorkpeasjlfk;e*
they need a new emotive word for that
my A's are in 8 weeks. By, then my belief in God would only further serve to be strengthened.
time check:5.50
Essays done : ZERO
Econs done: 0 %
Eternal optimism loses to reality with a tight slap to cheek. Score 100:1
Was surveying some blogs and was particularly amazed at the sophisticated lang used. Felt like a substandard example of an Arts student. The only quote that I can remember till today, off hand, from MAAN is kill claudio. Not exactly the most exemplary example.This attitude was further reinforced becauseI spent 5 min trying to subtract 49 from 63 during econs.
*lkASFlksdjflkasdhgljh;lksdfqwjorkpeasjlfk;e*
they need a new emotive word for that
my A's are in 8 weeks. By, then my belief in God would only further serve to be strengthened.
Monday, August 23
Its not that we're giving up. Just don't know what to do. what ARE we supposed to do? Asking whether you're ok seems so cursory and patronising cuz you and I both know the answer. Its like the blind leading the blind. I don't get you and you don't get me. Its not fucking easy either on this side either. Yeah, we said we'll be there and we will be but we need to know the time and place too. Get what I mean? No one's blaming you because we know you hurt but we can't walk around treating you like glass can we? Beacuse even if we do, its not really gonna change anything? We don't know your next move because we are NOT you. Its like a chessboard with no squares. Only you know whether you're white or black.You recognised the need for change and we can only be there telling you where to walk. We can't lift your legs unless you want us too.
Yeah, maybe we are being bitchy and insensitive. I wonder too. Are we dealing with it too lightly? You called us gullible. Frankly, I don't think so. I think we're cynical simply because we don't believe. Are you naive? I don't know.? Maybe you are. Thinking you can block it out. The Queen always wins? That's just plain cowardice.
Its the same face to face but never the same blog to blog. Maybe because there are less feelings to step on. wish this could be articulated but then, it might be too painful. That you can foresee.
Please look at yo, not as what you are but what you could be
And that's all there is to it. really.
Yeah, maybe we are being bitchy and insensitive. I wonder too. Are we dealing with it too lightly? You called us gullible. Frankly, I don't think so. I think we're cynical simply because we don't believe. Are you naive? I don't know.? Maybe you are. Thinking you can block it out. The Queen always wins? That's just plain cowardice.
Its the same face to face but never the same blog to blog. Maybe because there are less feelings to step on. wish this could be articulated but then, it might be too painful. That you can foresee.
Please look at yo, not as what you are but what you could be
And that's all there is to it. really.
Vegetarian is an old Native American word for 'doesn't hunt well'.
haha. quite funny. now I know why we evolved this way. my forefathers just didn't have the guts to hold a damn gun.
Stayed back in school to study, albeit unsuccessfully.ugh.met ras.. did the whole huggy screaming excited thing.She deserved every bit of it and now has helped me successfully prop up my future resume.haha.
Was listening to the national day rally speech yesterday and believe it or not, the funniest line to me was babies are a serious problem. Paradoxical huh? I know what it's supposed to mean but still, its so adorable. I mean, babies are the cutest things ever and they're supposed to un-seriousfy(made-up word) you but they are a serious problem.How quaint.
Refinement is just being a bitch with a good vocabulary.
pearls of wisdom from vasud's mouth :)
can see zub rolling her eyes, along with debbie, denise, jolyn, khai yan,lin zhi..ok yeah everybody. just you wait...when I'm successful.haha.
haha. quite funny. now I know why we evolved this way. my forefathers just didn't have the guts to hold a damn gun.
Stayed back in school to study, albeit unsuccessfully.ugh.met ras.. did the whole huggy screaming excited thing.She deserved every bit of it and now has helped me successfully prop up my future resume.haha.
Was listening to the national day rally speech yesterday and believe it or not, the funniest line to me was babies are a serious problem. Paradoxical huh? I know what it's supposed to mean but still, its so adorable. I mean, babies are the cutest things ever and they're supposed to un-seriousfy(made-up word) you but they are a serious problem.How quaint.
Refinement is just being a bitch with a good vocabulary.
pearls of wisdom from vasud's mouth :)
can see zub rolling her eyes, along with debbie, denise, jolyn, khai yan,lin zhi..ok yeah everybody. just you wait...when I'm successful.haha.
Sunday, August 22
Saturday, August 21
"She gave me for my pain a world of sighs"
Othello
Funny, right now it seems as though everybody is giving sighs for a world of pain.
Shakespeare was a helluva smart guy when he said "All the world's a stage"(As You Like It)
Talking on the phone earlier, the irony just kept coming back to me. Its not even double irony, its dramatic irony. I was laughing so hard. The world's a funny little place. So perverse. So VERY perverse.
woebegone.frustrated.empathy.apathy.sympathy.
superior.unhappy.commiseration.tenderness.
marvelling.vulnerable.anger.rage.annoyed.irritated.
pity.sad.helpless. bewildered.muddled.floored.
mystified.confused.wondering.pondering.
All suckered and tuckered up. oh yeah.
Is it learning how to deal with human complexity and consequently learning how to be mature? Or we already mature and are learning how to deal with human simplicity? Its a matter of choice? To take the rose-coloured ones or the jaded emerlad ones?
Di once said that she wished that she could remove the mask and be who we truly are. But what happens if the mask is embedded so deep, you no longer no who you are. Or worse still, no longer knowing but thinking you do but completely unaware that the parasite has taken over you. You think you can rip it out when you want to but you can't because its clawed into you.
Should read more Girl Interrupted. Its good for your soul. Cleansing it, making it whole and unblemished. Someone recommanded Prozac Nation. If it's anything like GI, I should be in very good hands indeed.
Very good hands
So you think. I'm right after all. I'm just preparing my self for the world out there. But there's some sort of self doubt niggling that's screaming, "What if it IS made up of blue skies and green meadows. You just wasted your time."
I guess then the laugh's on you. undoubtedly. Because you thought you had a guarentee. You were sorely mistaken and now its too late. becuase what's done IS done. Why do you think they sing " If only I could turn back time"
Guarentee for protection from afflictions in life is like asking the Mafia to protect you from their hitmen.
Our Lady Peace - 4 a.m.
And if I don't make it known that
I've loved you all along
just like sunny days that
we ignore because
we're all dumb & jaded
and I hope to God I figure out
what's wrong
And you thought you won.
It's just a parody. All of this is. Don't you get it? {insert laugh track}
It IS funny. You just don't get it.
{insert laugh track}
That's why everyone else is laughing.
Othello
Funny, right now it seems as though everybody is giving sighs for a world of pain.
Shakespeare was a helluva smart guy when he said "All the world's a stage"(As You Like It)
Talking on the phone earlier, the irony just kept coming back to me. Its not even double irony, its dramatic irony. I was laughing so hard. The world's a funny little place. So perverse. So VERY perverse.
woebegone.frustrated.empathy.apathy.sympathy.
superior.unhappy.commiseration.tenderness.
marvelling.vulnerable.anger.rage.annoyed.irritated.
pity.sad.helpless. bewildered.muddled.floored.
mystified.confused.wondering.pondering.
All suckered and tuckered up. oh yeah.
Is it learning how to deal with human complexity and consequently learning how to be mature? Or we already mature and are learning how to deal with human simplicity? Its a matter of choice? To take the rose-coloured ones or the jaded emerlad ones?
Di once said that she wished that she could remove the mask and be who we truly are. But what happens if the mask is embedded so deep, you no longer no who you are. Or worse still, no longer knowing but thinking you do but completely unaware that the parasite has taken over you. You think you can rip it out when you want to but you can't because its clawed into you.
Should read more Girl Interrupted. Its good for your soul. Cleansing it, making it whole and unblemished. Someone recommanded Prozac Nation. If it's anything like GI, I should be in very good hands indeed.
Very good hands
So you think. I'm right after all. I'm just preparing my self for the world out there. But there's some sort of self doubt niggling that's screaming, "What if it IS made up of blue skies and green meadows. You just wasted your time."
I guess then the laugh's on you. undoubtedly. Because you thought you had a guarentee. You were sorely mistaken and now its too late. becuase what's done IS done. Why do you think they sing " If only I could turn back time"
Guarentee for protection from afflictions in life is like asking the Mafia to protect you from their hitmen.
Our Lady Peace - 4 a.m.
And if I don't make it known that
I've loved you all along
just like sunny days that
we ignore because
we're all dumb & jaded
and I hope to God I figure out
what's wrong
And you thought you won.
It's just a parody. All of this is. Don't you get it? {insert laugh track}
It IS funny. You just don't get it.
{insert laugh track}
That's why everyone else is laughing.
Thursday, August 19
Went out with Fatma on Monday and yes babe! you shouldn't tempt poor St Pat boys at their prime when they are unable to control their raging hormones. Ok, sorry I made you wait but I was teaching you the art of patience.haha.which we ALL know that you sorely lack. Sadly, I lost every single argument that day and I blame it on the swollen eye. It muddled my thought process. NOT my fault. But bought nice slippers at Royal Sporting House. happy.happy.happy
ok. actually had a lot more to say but i shall act as zubaidah proclaimed I was
self absorbed.haha.
happy.happy.happy
ok. actually had a lot more to say but i shall act as zubaidah proclaimed I was
self absorbed.haha.
happy.happy.happy
Wednesday, August 18
To YOU : (and all the you’s I used to know…)
Maybe you felt like this….
if shame had a face i think it would kind of look like mine
if it had a home would it be my eyes would you believe me
if i said i am tired of this now here we go one more time
i tried to climb your steps i tried to chase you down
i tried to see how low i could get down to the ground
i tried to earn my way i tried to change this mind
you better believe i tried to beat this
when will this end it goes on and on and over and over and over again
keep spinning around i know it won't stop till i step down from this for good
i never thought i'd end up here i never thought i'd be standing
where i am i guess i kind of thought it would be easier than this
i guess i was wrong now one more
time this is a sick cycle carousel this is a sick cycle, yeah
Lifehouse- Sick Cycle Carousel
I wish I could understand… I really do but I don’t and sometimes I’m glad I don’t. Yeah, the children in Ethiopia don’t have food, water or shelter but for that we should be thankful but like I said, everyone’s problems seems the biggest to them. And yes, we are self absorbed. What you said did hit a nerve. But I hope it did get you thinking.
You asked us...How do you know if I’ve changed? I don’t really know that but I do know that for a person who is so passionate about what she loves, she would not do what she did. I do know she is a girl who knows how to pick herself up and draw from the strength that is in her. I know she has that will because she is the only one out of us who managed to attend PE completely without actually voicing out that she wants to skip. And that dahling, speaks volumes.
I know that you not only have the strength to pick yourself up but also have the strength to pick others who have fallen. Don’t ask me how I would know… I just do. It’s the same thing that keeps all those of us who have talked to you. You are sensible and logical, saner than anyone of us here and I don’t think you truly meant what you told us. Cuz if you did, you would have cut a little bit longer and a little bit deeper but you must have realised that spiralling downwards was not the way to go at all. And that was the first step.
Like I said, I wish I could understand how pain could make you feel better but I don’t. I do know, however, that hurting yourself isn’t going to stop people from hurting you. And when would it have stopped? If people screw your life later, do you think you’d be able to live with yourself? I don’t want to imagine the consequences. You can never block out the pain…it’s always waiting to surface unless you deal with it the way its mean to be dealt with – head on. Pain in this from is just like running away… and precisely when do you think it’s gonna stop? When there’s nothing left in you? Do you think the hurt will stop then…I don’t think so. I can guarantee you it’ll just rush back ten fold and attack you when your defenceless.. Why not deal with it when you have the ammunition? I got the POWER!!! Don’t ever say that life’s not worth it! It is. I appeal to your rationality to look past the clichés and embrace the meaning. Up babe! You haven’t had quality sex yet!!
Yea Yeah I know, it’s the same old argument but you are gonna keep hearing it until its drilled into your head. Praying may not help but it doesn’t mean that God isn’t there watching… I’m sure you’ve heard of the footsteps story a million and one times and I’m sure s/he’s right next to you. I don’t think s/he really minds the way you talk to HIM/HER (just waylaying gender issues) as long as you do…
As I’m sure you’ve been hearing everyone tell you… we won’t be around for too long and yes, that is partly because the world is self absorbed. It did hit a nerve yeah, but didn’t damage the whole nervous system and I think deep down inside, you know that too and you know that you’d be thinking the exact same thing. But since we’re here now, why don’t you milk us for all we’re worth? We all did worry, you know, and kept envisioning one of those ST articles which go “we never thought she’d jump…she seemed so well adjusted” And I for one would not be looking forward to that scenario. So yeah, we shout out and say ‘me!” one too many times but that doesn’t mean we don’t care or suddenly smile because we got reminded of a memory of you and us. It doesn’t mean we stopped thinking about you. It just means we kinda forgot and took you for granted a bit too much and I plead guilty. But that doesn’t mean that if you disappear off the face of the earth, life would progress on smoothly immediately. We would wonder, we would cry, we would hold the unshed tears inside us cuz we would remember you as the dancer who never skipped PE and made notes that would rival KY’s, who would claim to be mature and laugh just as loudly when someone did something immature, would glare ferociously but would have a hint of a smile peeping out, would throw temper tantrums for math sums but could be loving and generous when it came down to the real stuff, could be completely bitchy and wouldn’t take offence, would always go the toilet with you no matter how many times you were there already, would always be prepared to go anywhere with you, would always lounge around at the scope benches and was always there with her lame comments like “wit-tee and the “bulge” to make you laugh out loud. And frankly, even if we did want to forget, we could never.
Your picture is just too big enough for us to ignore.
Love you
Remember I told you today to go listen to this… well, if you can’t, here are the lyrics
She told him she'd rather fix her makeup
than try to fix what's going on
But the problem keeps on calling
even with the cell phone gone
She told him that she believes in living
bigger than she's living now
But her world keeps spinning backwards
and upside down
Don't say so long, and throw yourself wrong
Don't spin today away, cause today will soon be
Gone, like yesterday is gone,
Like history is gone
Just try to prove me wrong
And pretend like you're immortal
She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every day we borrow brings us
one step closer to the edge, infinity
Where's your treasure, where's your hope
if you get the world and lose your soul?
She pretends like she pretends like she's immortal
Don't say so long, you're not that far gone
This could be your big chance to make up
Today will soon be
Gone, like yesterday is gone
Like history is gone
The world keeps spinning on
You're going, going, gone
Like summer break is gone,
Like saturday is gone
Just try to prove me wrong
You pretend like you're immortal.
We are not infinite
We are not permanent
Nothing is immediate
We're so confident
In our accomplishments
Look at our decadence
Gone, like Frank Sinatra, like Elvis and his mom,
Like Al Pachino's cash, nothing lasts in this life
Gone, my high school dreams are gone,
my childhood sweets are gone
Life is a day that doesn't last for long.
Life is more than money, time was never money
Time was never cash, life is still more than girls.
Life is more than hundred dollar bills and roto-tom fills,
Life is more than fame and rock and roll and thrills,
All the riches of the kings end up in wills
We've got information in the information age but do
We know what life is outside of our convenient Lexus cages?
She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every moment that we borrow brings us closer
to the God who's not short of cash
Hey Bono, I'm glad you asked
Life is still worth living, life is more than what we are
'Life is so only-once, so single-chancish! It all depends on your arranging andsynchronising it so that when opportunity knocks you're right there waiting withyour hand on the doorknob.'
Sylvia Plath
Maybe you felt like this….
if shame had a face i think it would kind of look like mine
if it had a home would it be my eyes would you believe me
if i said i am tired of this now here we go one more time
i tried to climb your steps i tried to chase you down
i tried to see how low i could get down to the ground
i tried to earn my way i tried to change this mind
you better believe i tried to beat this
when will this end it goes on and on and over and over and over again
keep spinning around i know it won't stop till i step down from this for good
i never thought i'd end up here i never thought i'd be standing
where i am i guess i kind of thought it would be easier than this
i guess i was wrong now one more
time this is a sick cycle carousel this is a sick cycle, yeah
Lifehouse- Sick Cycle Carousel
I wish I could understand… I really do but I don’t and sometimes I’m glad I don’t. Yeah, the children in Ethiopia don’t have food, water or shelter but for that we should be thankful but like I said, everyone’s problems seems the biggest to them. And yes, we are self absorbed. What you said did hit a nerve. But I hope it did get you thinking.
You asked us...How do you know if I’ve changed? I don’t really know that but I do know that for a person who is so passionate about what she loves, she would not do what she did. I do know she is a girl who knows how to pick herself up and draw from the strength that is in her. I know she has that will because she is the only one out of us who managed to attend PE completely without actually voicing out that she wants to skip. And that dahling, speaks volumes.
I know that you not only have the strength to pick yourself up but also have the strength to pick others who have fallen. Don’t ask me how I would know… I just do. It’s the same thing that keeps all those of us who have talked to you. You are sensible and logical, saner than anyone of us here and I don’t think you truly meant what you told us. Cuz if you did, you would have cut a little bit longer and a little bit deeper but you must have realised that spiralling downwards was not the way to go at all. And that was the first step.
Like I said, I wish I could understand how pain could make you feel better but I don’t. I do know, however, that hurting yourself isn’t going to stop people from hurting you. And when would it have stopped? If people screw your life later, do you think you’d be able to live with yourself? I don’t want to imagine the consequences. You can never block out the pain…it’s always waiting to surface unless you deal with it the way its mean to be dealt with – head on. Pain in this from is just like running away… and precisely when do you think it’s gonna stop? When there’s nothing left in you? Do you think the hurt will stop then…I don’t think so. I can guarantee you it’ll just rush back ten fold and attack you when your defenceless.. Why not deal with it when you have the ammunition? I got the POWER!!! Don’t ever say that life’s not worth it! It is. I appeal to your rationality to look past the clichés and embrace the meaning. Up babe! You haven’t had quality sex yet!!
Yea Yeah I know, it’s the same old argument but you are gonna keep hearing it until its drilled into your head. Praying may not help but it doesn’t mean that God isn’t there watching… I’m sure you’ve heard of the footsteps story a million and one times and I’m sure s/he’s right next to you. I don’t think s/he really minds the way you talk to HIM/HER (just waylaying gender issues) as long as you do…
As I’m sure you’ve been hearing everyone tell you… we won’t be around for too long and yes, that is partly because the world is self absorbed. It did hit a nerve yeah, but didn’t damage the whole nervous system and I think deep down inside, you know that too and you know that you’d be thinking the exact same thing. But since we’re here now, why don’t you milk us for all we’re worth? We all did worry, you know, and kept envisioning one of those ST articles which go “we never thought she’d jump…she seemed so well adjusted” And I for one would not be looking forward to that scenario. So yeah, we shout out and say ‘me!” one too many times but that doesn’t mean we don’t care or suddenly smile because we got reminded of a memory of you and us. It doesn’t mean we stopped thinking about you. It just means we kinda forgot and took you for granted a bit too much and I plead guilty. But that doesn’t mean that if you disappear off the face of the earth, life would progress on smoothly immediately. We would wonder, we would cry, we would hold the unshed tears inside us cuz we would remember you as the dancer who never skipped PE and made notes that would rival KY’s, who would claim to be mature and laugh just as loudly when someone did something immature, would glare ferociously but would have a hint of a smile peeping out, would throw temper tantrums for math sums but could be loving and generous when it came down to the real stuff, could be completely bitchy and wouldn’t take offence, would always go the toilet with you no matter how many times you were there already, would always be prepared to go anywhere with you, would always lounge around at the scope benches and was always there with her lame comments like “wit-tee and the “bulge” to make you laugh out loud. And frankly, even if we did want to forget, we could never.
Your picture is just too big enough for us to ignore.
Love you
Remember I told you today to go listen to this… well, if you can’t, here are the lyrics
She told him she'd rather fix her makeup
than try to fix what's going on
But the problem keeps on calling
even with the cell phone gone
She told him that she believes in living
bigger than she's living now
But her world keeps spinning backwards
and upside down
Don't say so long, and throw yourself wrong
Don't spin today away, cause today will soon be
Gone, like yesterday is gone,
Like history is gone
Just try to prove me wrong
And pretend like you're immortal
She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every day we borrow brings us
one step closer to the edge, infinity
Where's your treasure, where's your hope
if you get the world and lose your soul?
She pretends like she pretends like she's immortal
Don't say so long, you're not that far gone
This could be your big chance to make up
Today will soon be
Gone, like yesterday is gone
Like history is gone
The world keeps spinning on
You're going, going, gone
Like summer break is gone,
Like saturday is gone
Just try to prove me wrong
You pretend like you're immortal.
We are not infinite
We are not permanent
Nothing is immediate
We're so confident
In our accomplishments
Look at our decadence
Gone, like Frank Sinatra, like Elvis and his mom,
Like Al Pachino's cash, nothing lasts in this life
Gone, my high school dreams are gone,
my childhood sweets are gone
Life is a day that doesn't last for long.
Life is more than money, time was never money
Time was never cash, life is still more than girls.
Life is more than hundred dollar bills and roto-tom fills,
Life is more than fame and rock and roll and thrills,
All the riches of the kings end up in wills
We've got information in the information age but do
We know what life is outside of our convenient Lexus cages?
She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every moment that we borrow brings us closer
to the God who's not short of cash
Hey Bono, I'm glad you asked
Life is still worth living, life is more than what we are
'Life is so only-once, so single-chancish! It all depends on your arranging andsynchronising it so that when opportunity knocks you're right there waiting withyour hand on the doorknob.'
Sylvia Plath
Saturday, August 7
current position: legs ontop of head, in the pursuit of supple limbs to promote tantric sexin later stage of life.
haha.Was talking to kash and he asked what I was doing and I replied that..so we snorted and gurgled for a very long time.haha.(you can guess who did what)
ok really. i'm sitting on my dad's mafia-exec chair(you know one of those big black chairs that the big bosses always sit in and swivel around from looking out if the window to give the impression of great villainy being plotted) and the keyboard's on my lap and I'm listening to Sarah Mclachlan's Buliding a Mystery
Watched The Notebook yesterday with denise and its a very nice body..haha.I meant movie.Ryan Gosling has a very nice body though. verrrrrrrry nice. but really the movie is very very sweet. well after that we just sneaked across to the next cinema and were waiting for the show to start. And you should have seen my face when it was HOFD. I just starting gurgling cuz denise was like "i bloody hope its not HOFD" before she went to the toilet. I was just giggling helplessly.
The movie is absolute rubbish and trash. With the current exception of liz, I would pay pple money not to watch it. It ranks 0.2 slighlty above The Pool, due to the saving grace of Takashi. But even his hotness couldn't save the movie's super flimsy plot. Actually, objectively speaking, the plot's not too bad but there was no sense of closure and there were alot of loopholes and "haahs?"(with the super dumb face). Oh god, it felt like a damnned 80's tamil movie.
Not good.
We chose the new debate exco on wednesday and well,hope they can make true all the dreams. Well, sometimes it feels that the 2003 has done nothing much other then open doors (which I did alot.haha) But I guess, we crystalised debate's identity and made it abit more famous?( I still remember during open house when confronted with why debate was so small, I came up with this wonderful speech (if i should say so myself) that we just didn't choose anyone in debate and there was this selection process and only a final few would be choosen because We are an elite group and all the while thinking If you buy this crap, you are not qualified to be a freakin deabator. Why do we have so little people? Look around you dumbass, you blind? This is a effing poster for cheena-kingdom and do you think english debate belongs to such a place? The only culture that is understood here is bacteria and you freakin dare ask me why there the numbers are so small. It is precisely becuase of you infidels we are like this. duh!? But when you think about it, we are an elite group.yeah) Hmmm. I think we bridged the gap between meg, josh and the juniors.Oh well, whatever it is, we kinda get credit, cuz they achieved so much while we were in charge and though its mostly due to meg and josh, I take teeny weeny satisfaction.haah.
ok liz i think i forgive you..haha.
haha.Was talking to kash and he asked what I was doing and I replied that..so we snorted and gurgled for a very long time.haha.(you can guess who did what)
ok really. i'm sitting on my dad's mafia-exec chair(you know one of those big black chairs that the big bosses always sit in and swivel around from looking out if the window to give the impression of great villainy being plotted) and the keyboard's on my lap and I'm listening to Sarah Mclachlan's Buliding a Mystery
Watched The Notebook yesterday with denise and its a very nice body..haha.I meant movie.Ryan Gosling has a very nice body though. verrrrrrrry nice. but really the movie is very very sweet. well after that we just sneaked across to the next cinema and were waiting for the show to start. And you should have seen my face when it was HOFD. I just starting gurgling cuz denise was like "i bloody hope its not HOFD" before she went to the toilet. I was just giggling helplessly.
The movie is absolute rubbish and trash. With the current exception of liz, I would pay pple money not to watch it. It ranks 0.2 slighlty above The Pool, due to the saving grace of Takashi. But even his hotness couldn't save the movie's super flimsy plot. Actually, objectively speaking, the plot's not too bad but there was no sense of closure and there were alot of loopholes and "haahs?"(with the super dumb face). Oh god, it felt like a damnned 80's tamil movie.
Not good.
We chose the new debate exco on wednesday and well,hope they can make true all the dreams. Well, sometimes it feels that the 2003 has done nothing much other then open doors (which I did alot.haha) But I guess, we crystalised debate's identity and made it abit more famous?( I still remember during open house when confronted with why debate was so small, I came up with this wonderful speech (if i should say so myself) that we just didn't choose anyone in debate and there was this selection process and only a final few would be choosen because We are an elite group and all the while thinking If you buy this crap, you are not qualified to be a freakin deabator. Why do we have so little people? Look around you dumbass, you blind? This is a effing poster for cheena-kingdom and do you think english debate belongs to such a place? The only culture that is understood here is bacteria and you freakin dare ask me why there the numbers are so small. It is precisely becuase of you infidels we are like this. duh!? But when you think about it, we are an elite group.yeah) Hmmm. I think we bridged the gap between meg, josh and the juniors.Oh well, whatever it is, we kinda get credit, cuz they achieved so much while we were in charge and though its mostly due to meg and josh, I take teeny weeny satisfaction.haah.
ok liz i think i forgive you..haha.
Wednesday, August 4
Since there is an obvious lack of proper administrative maintenance of FB aka WT aka liz, i have to resort to defiling my blog. to liz:
FUCK YOU BITCH!!!! you are a FUCKING BITCH!
You will rue this day because, ten years down the road, you will be producing cliff look-a-likes and they will suck your blood dry and you can't get out of it cuz ur too in looove with their daddy.
which of course, is ur one and only love, cliff.
have a nice day
FUCK YOU BITCH!!!! you are a FUCKING BITCH!
You will rue this day because, ten years down the road, you will be producing cliff look-a-likes and they will suck your blood dry and you can't get out of it cuz ur too in looove with their daddy.
which of course, is ur one and only love, cliff.
have a nice day
Tuesday, August 3
Sometimes I just get so irritated and want to holler at everyone around me and say “:WAKE UP and smell the damnned roses if I have to thrust your effing face into it”
Why are humans so concerned about their outer image that they just let themselves rot within, not taking time to appreciate the small things, to just learn how to accept and let go gracefully? Why are we always clutching on by the very rags of or nails, lying to ourselves, that this one thing is with what we matter without realising that we are just letting ourselves down and making things worse.
Sure, there are bigger things out there but does anyone stop and think that the big always have to start somewhere small. So if you appreciate the small things, just like smiling more or by just laughing out loud, you are preparing yourself to handle the big things. We are given such a short period of time, so why do we waste time moaning how much it sucks and how we should be doing something else and how we have not lived for the past eighteen years. Isn’t it about time we grew up? To realise that to live is not to get the best cards but to make the best of your cards. To realise by doing something as insignificant as walking in the rain is enough to give you pleasure and to admit to yourself that it is pleasurable and to feel happy that it is raining and you can feel every single drop, coursing thorough you and just feeling it patter down.
Why do we not embrace the lightness of being (thanks lynn!!! It’s a great book) and insist that life is burden that must weigh us down? When did it shift from looking forward to looking backward? Why must it shift? Because we let it. Because we get bogged down by things we can’t change and we just love wallowing in that rut and try to blame everything else, Well guess what, human? You have no one to blame but yourself. Go take an attitude change. Others have no time for you.
Just snap out of it because sooner or later, people will tire of you and when its too late and all the familiar faces have turned strange, you have just dug your own grave.
Find new things to do. Don’t be a has been, be a has be. There a million and one things to appreciate about life and if you just sit there and stare at the black spot in the white screen, stare at it for eternity because time has no patience for you and before you know it, when you get up, you’ll have arthritis. The world doesn’t revolve around you and please do not tell me I know because if you do it just makes you more irritating because now you are knowingly going through the motions and all the more, the world will not stop moving. Don’t stop living in the present because of what has been or what is to come. Savour each moment. Because your time her eon earth is already short, do not shorten it further. Who knows what fate has in store for you?
Get a real life
Why are humans so concerned about their outer image that they just let themselves rot within, not taking time to appreciate the small things, to just learn how to accept and let go gracefully? Why are we always clutching on by the very rags of or nails, lying to ourselves, that this one thing is with what we matter without realising that we are just letting ourselves down and making things worse.
Sure, there are bigger things out there but does anyone stop and think that the big always have to start somewhere small. So if you appreciate the small things, just like smiling more or by just laughing out loud, you are preparing yourself to handle the big things. We are given such a short period of time, so why do we waste time moaning how much it sucks and how we should be doing something else and how we have not lived for the past eighteen years. Isn’t it about time we grew up? To realise that to live is not to get the best cards but to make the best of your cards. To realise by doing something as insignificant as walking in the rain is enough to give you pleasure and to admit to yourself that it is pleasurable and to feel happy that it is raining and you can feel every single drop, coursing thorough you and just feeling it patter down.
Why do we not embrace the lightness of being (thanks lynn!!! It’s a great book) and insist that life is burden that must weigh us down? When did it shift from looking forward to looking backward? Why must it shift? Because we let it. Because we get bogged down by things we can’t change and we just love wallowing in that rut and try to blame everything else, Well guess what, human? You have no one to blame but yourself. Go take an attitude change. Others have no time for you.
Just snap out of it because sooner or later, people will tire of you and when its too late and all the familiar faces have turned strange, you have just dug your own grave.
Find new things to do. Don’t be a has been, be a has be. There a million and one things to appreciate about life and if you just sit there and stare at the black spot in the white screen, stare at it for eternity because time has no patience for you and before you know it, when you get up, you’ll have arthritis. The world doesn’t revolve around you and please do not tell me I know because if you do it just makes you more irritating because now you are knowingly going through the motions and all the more, the world will not stop moving. Don’t stop living in the present because of what has been or what is to come. Savour each moment. Because your time her eon earth is already short, do not shorten it further. Who knows what fate has in store for you?
Get a real life
Heyooooooo
I think that my computer was dropped on its CPU when it was a laptop because it behaves like complete retard... I really mean it!!! And my laptop sucks, because it has exceeded its playtime with my brother, thereby triggering a diffusion cycle where, like my brother, it starts losing brain cells (or in its case, kilobytes or RAM) to the surrounding atmosphere.
Spend a few minutes with my brother and you’ll understand. Spend a few seconds with my laptop and you’ll sympathise.
Not funny
A typical encounter with my laptop goes like this (as it is the only device now capable of internet connection as my computer was dropped on its CPU...remember?). Switch it on. See that the LCD screen is still not on…bang it on the left side really hard, preferably with a fist and the screen will myopically blink to life after which there will be this few seconds of crazed flickering then will order be restored.
And that happens if you’re lucky. If not, the screen will switch itself on and there will be this weirdo plasma colour design in my computer where you can vaguely make out the COMPAQ swirling in the centre. The first time it happened, I was alone and I screamed because I thought it was possessed by one of those crazed Japanese computer ghosty thingies (it was the guilt of mocking them that made me scream). I almost though it would start emitting voices.
Also not funny,
Well the point of me introducing you to my RAMless laptop, is to explain the lack of communication in my blog.
Which by the way is also a repercussion of the not-working-very-well enforcement mechanism of my parents (which at least is marginally more efficient than flathead’s which consists of letting thieves go for lessons but not unfairly abused individuals which are a result of repressed ex slacker school students) because of getting you-know what. The dratted S word
Not sex damnnit. Btw, if anyone nice soul has heard of the JC Chasez song “All day long I dream about sex“ (like Qi ying) please inform me ASAP so I can enlighten dear Deborah that I DID NOT MAKE IT UP AND IS NOT A RESULT OF ME THINKING ABOUT IT THE WHOLE DAY! I do not! Where the heck do people get these ideas!?!
Oh, btw, today I met princess bratz posse and it is overwhelmingly painful. They’re like alcohol, nice in small doses but highly potent in shots and excruciating in large doses. But gotta admit, they’re a classic and highly entertaining. haah~ kinda remind me of my own friends but infinitely more duh. Yay! Thatz a compliment to you guys!
Worrying about the studying which I have not been doing. My bro just cleared his exams with DISTINCTIONS excepting the pass in maths (guess it must run in the family) and I feel stressed cuz I must perform and how he does it while slacking and chatting up girls, god only knows.( to date, since going aussie, he has cleared atleast 10 and counting…he’s such a casasnova [said with a heavy sarcasm])
In comparision, I feel unfulfilled and void
Boo hoo.
This has been such a wasted entry and the blame lands squarely on flat head’s shoulders. I am upset.
Haah.
I think that my computer was dropped on its CPU when it was a laptop because it behaves like complete retard... I really mean it!!! And my laptop sucks, because it has exceeded its playtime with my brother, thereby triggering a diffusion cycle where, like my brother, it starts losing brain cells (or in its case, kilobytes or RAM) to the surrounding atmosphere.
Spend a few minutes with my brother and you’ll understand. Spend a few seconds with my laptop and you’ll sympathise.
Not funny
A typical encounter with my laptop goes like this (as it is the only device now capable of internet connection as my computer was dropped on its CPU...remember?). Switch it on. See that the LCD screen is still not on…bang it on the left side really hard, preferably with a fist and the screen will myopically blink to life after which there will be this few seconds of crazed flickering then will order be restored.
And that happens if you’re lucky. If not, the screen will switch itself on and there will be this weirdo plasma colour design in my computer where you can vaguely make out the COMPAQ swirling in the centre. The first time it happened, I was alone and I screamed because I thought it was possessed by one of those crazed Japanese computer ghosty thingies (it was the guilt of mocking them that made me scream). I almost though it would start emitting voices.
Also not funny,
Well the point of me introducing you to my RAMless laptop, is to explain the lack of communication in my blog.
Which by the way is also a repercussion of the not-working-very-well enforcement mechanism of my parents (which at least is marginally more efficient than flathead’s which consists of letting thieves go for lessons but not unfairly abused individuals which are a result of repressed ex slacker school students) because of getting you-know what. The dratted S word
Not sex damnnit. Btw, if anyone nice soul has heard of the JC Chasez song “All day long I dream about sex“ (like Qi ying) please inform me ASAP so I can enlighten dear Deborah that I DID NOT MAKE IT UP AND IS NOT A RESULT OF ME THINKING ABOUT IT THE WHOLE DAY! I do not! Where the heck do people get these ideas!?!
Oh, btw, today I met princess bratz posse and it is overwhelmingly painful. They’re like alcohol, nice in small doses but highly potent in shots and excruciating in large doses. But gotta admit, they’re a classic and highly entertaining. haah~ kinda remind me of my own friends but infinitely more duh. Yay! Thatz a compliment to you guys!
Worrying about the studying which I have not been doing. My bro just cleared his exams with DISTINCTIONS excepting the pass in maths (guess it must run in the family) and I feel stressed cuz I must perform and how he does it while slacking and chatting up girls, god only knows.( to date, since going aussie, he has cleared atleast 10 and counting…he’s such a casasnova [said with a heavy sarcasm])
In comparision, I feel unfulfilled and void
Boo hoo.
This has been such a wasted entry and the blame lands squarely on flat head’s shoulders. I am upset.
Haah.
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