What happens if my life is just full of wasted oppurtunities becuase i was just too lazy to do anything, to actually push myself beyond what i'm actually worth? Will i go through life just like that, being mediocre because I never tried? i mean, that is seriously disgusting. Really, am I going to go through life, thinking I'll do it tomorrow? but what happens when there isn't a TOMORROW! i'm scared, really. The world seems really big, all of a sudden and i feel unprepared. Next year, is the year, the culmination of my education finally will lead me up to that. The mother of all exams and I NEED TO DO well in it! But, i know myself, i'm all talk and no willpower [ which is why i'm sitting here instead of actually doing economics ] i'm scared. Really scared. I'm going to have kids someday and i'm so scared. How am I going to prepare them when I'm so imprefect myself? How? This probably sounds like i'm stressing myself for no reason but its true. I wish Reality would take cheques instead of giving checks. I haTE reality checks. man, i'm so inadequate. But yet part of me is so excited. THIS IS IT! The last year! EVERYTHING BOILS DOWN TO THIS! to whatever i want. [ well technically! ] I'm going to go somewhere and be free! I know i sound idealistic! but i DON"T CARE!!! Let's rewrite an ending that fits I'm going to be really successful ! My life will not be a life of wasted oppurtunites! It will be a life of ONLY oppurtunities

It's my life . I ain't gonna live forever. I just wanna live when i'm alive

Why am I not taking my own advice? I remember picking out my email address when i was primary six and i settled on live4moments..Live for moments..Live for the moment.. no longer is it about wasted oppurtunities. Where has all the optimism and the Life Rocks attitude gone? 5 years is so short but so long. Now, its all about how life sucks! What happened! i'm better off than even most of the people i know! I may not appreciate it now but i do know that it is..why am i still griping for the small things? Live for the moment. I will.

For a floozie, i'm damn complex :]